she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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