Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
