My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
