god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize