my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
This is the high leading the old right now
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
