No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i was born a porn star she said
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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