i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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