Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
