I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Randomize
