sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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