Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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