is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
