i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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