i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Rumble strips road head = magical
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just forgot I was standing up.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
