I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
