R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
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