I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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