why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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