i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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