so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He had one of those small greek statue penises
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
