Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize