I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I can't turn off my feet"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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