he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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