tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
