My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
