I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Randomize
