and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
