Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
what the fuck happened to the tacos
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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