pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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