At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
