I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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