i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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