I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
