I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
