i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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