Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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