i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
