Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
