Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
do nipples grow back?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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