she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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