I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
