yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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