Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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