i permit you to call me
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
