I hate all girls vehemently.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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