before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
