Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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