**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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