and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
