i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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