When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Randomize
