She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
