How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
