did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
