she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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