Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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