i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Kiss
Puke
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
