I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
i think my cat just said my name.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
