this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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