seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
