Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize