problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
