I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
kristin has been a bad kristin
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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