Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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