I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I need to calm my uterus...
Everclear isn't food dammit
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
