I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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