so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
