So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
