Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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